Note To Dell

If I had a nickel for every time I tried to jam the power cord for my Latitude D830 into the s-video socket, I'd have 6 nickels. For shame...

Rap The Vote 2008

Personally, I think voting should be a public process, because I think that on a personal level, you should be able to hold people accountable for who they vote for. Like if my neighbor voted for Bush after his first 4 years of fucking up, I want to know that so I can hate him. What would be wrong with that? And it's not like it would excuse me from the law. Like if I went over to his house and caved his head in with a claw hammer, I'd be the one in the wrong still. Additionally, public voting would prevent election rigging like I half believe goes on today.

Ok, more than half.

Dr. Who

Nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about, so stop making fucking Dr. Who references.

Doctors

As a youngin, my parents were always caring about me and shit, so they sent me to all these doctors.  Like, I had a dermatologist, a normal doctor, a dentist, an orthodontist, whatever you call the doctor who lies about your spine, a shrink, all of that.  And it was good, because I now know that most doctors are liars.  Just flat out.


toothpastefordinner.com

The Best Thing About Pep Rallys

I want to get strait to the point:

In grade school, the best thing about pep rallys was that once, there was this kid on the foot ball team who broke his leg, and was on crutches, so we're all in the gym, and the foot ball team runs down the middle of the gym, through all these people, to break through this sign that probably says something dumb about football, and the kid on crutches is going as fast as he can, and totally falls, and literally slides through half the gym on his face.  Go football!!!  Go team!!!

In high school, the best thing about pep rallys was just plain getting out of class.  There was seriously not a single person in my class who gave a shit about our team, except the football players or the cheerleaders, so we'd all sit in the bleachers and be thankful that we didn't have to listen to god damn religion class.  Most of the time was spent talking shit about how nice it would be to be a sniper in the air ducts.

Every so often, some prick would get the great idea to enlighten us about how often something happened.  For example, did you know that every 40 minutes, some cockass dies from drunk driving?  That number might be wrong, but I don't care.  Anyway, so some dumb ass decides we should focus on that for a day, so every 40 minutes, one kid in the school gets put in all black clothes and white paint on their face or something, to show what it would be like if they died or something.  Of course, it was always the dumbass suckup kids, like the class president and shit, so nobody would actually care if they died, aside from how awesome it would be, because all the teachers would go easy on us if we pretended we actually cared.

So anyway, once, they got this great idea to simulate a car crash in the parking lot.  I'd like to point out that I have actually created a car crash in the parking lot, so their idea wasn't quite as dramatic as they probably wanted.  Anyway, so they decide to simulate this, and they bring in two wrecked cars, and have one of the students play dead as the driver in one, and there were probably other dead motherfuckers, and then there were some students who lived but were all cut up, and 'crying' and shit, and the parametics had to take the hurt kids, and the police took the driver into custody or whatever... anyway, big dramatic thing... so...

I think it was the Heils, possibly Jones, myself... we're all in the back, and as loudly as we could, without getting the attention of too many officials, we're basically cheering the incident on, and talking shit about the people who just 'died'.  Typical highschool miscreants.  What made it so great though, in my memory, is that the teacher closest to us, who was supposed to make sure everyone behaved, was just busting up laughing, because we were doing such a good job of making fun of the whole issue.  Like, some days, you're just really in the zone, know what I mean?

Anyway...  school events were always great...