Usual disclaimer here. Don't read anything I write.
People will do this:
They will walk into a room that I am sitting in, where it is dark, and they will say "It's dark in here" and then turn on the lights. As if I don't have either the cognitive or perceptive capacity to realize it is dark. Maybe it's dark because I wanted it to be dark, and you're an asshole for turning the lights on? That's a bit more of an advanced thought process than 'ITS DARK' though, so if I'm pushing you too far, I apologize.
Or even better, they'll walk in and say "Why are you sitting in the dark?". Ok, let me hold your hand and we can walk through this one together. The lights are off, there is a light switch, and if I wanted the lights to be on, I could flip the switch. So maybe I'm sitting in the dark because I FUCKING WANT TO BE. A fucking dog could handle this. A fucking dog could walk into the room, realize it is dark, and not go 'woof that's a puzzler. The lights are off, it is dark, I wonder why. I just fucking wonder why that is.'
People will also be helpful and tell you things like, "You're up early." No shit, really? Where I come from we don't have clocks, and I just wake up randomly, so it's great to have someone there to point these things out. Without the guidance of a third-rank master genius like you, I'd be lost. Tell me this, when it is dark outside, what is that called? Is that night? And what does it look like when it is day? And what's that glowing ball that appears in the sky? Because if I can't tell that it's fucking early, then I sure as shit can't figure out these advanced concepts.
The point of this rant is that I hate you.
