So after hanging out on the phone with Microsoft's India-based tech support for an hour and a half, I discovered that their tech support has no fucking clue what they're doing. I was even given improper instructions for putting my computer into selective startup mode, so lucky I knew what I was doing myself.
I gave up on the whole upgrade idea, and decided to do a clean install, which worked. Windows Vista installer asked me almost nothing, and in turn, installed a bunch of crap I didn't want. If you're seriously still using a fax machine... just... just stop.
So the first thing I did was install drivers for my new Netgear wireless adapter. It worked, but it took me telling windows:
1> I want to run the file I just clicked on, yes...
2> Yes, I want to install this driver
3> Yes... I want to install this driver...
Also, why does the screen have to black out twice while I'm installing a network adapter?
Next, I tried getting updates from Microsoft, since things like my audio and video drivers weren't working, and I'm sure there are all kinds of security updates. I was not shocked when the updater tool reported that it was unable to find updates, and gave me an error code. Fortunately, I am armed with many a Microsoft tool, and decided to restart! Something I have not done with my mac for about a month now.
Hitting start, and then the power button icon, however, did not turn my computer off, but put it instead, into some kind of blank screen mode, where my computer's fans are still humming away, but the computer becomes useless. Hitting a key on the keyboard, the monitor sprung back to life, and presented me with a mouse pointer. Nothing else.
Fortunately, I am armed with many a Microsoft tool, and decided to restart! I hit the power button, and then Vista decided to shut down, for real this time. Lucky me.
After restarting, it was able to find updates, which is where I sit now.
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