Marketing Fail

Well, I voted for the brownie. A 55 calorie beer has to taste like ass.

redbeacon

Kids

I love kids, I really do, but nobody gives a shit about all the dumbass stuff they do, so stop telling everybody. OH he shit his pants, or OH he got in the pool, or OH he went to the restaurant and it was great. Holy shit people. Another 20,000 come in every day. Your shit is not unique.

bing

Eric The Great

I met someone who was criminally insane once. I was at this concert down in Clifton at Bogarts, and I went with a group that included some of my friends friends, people I hadn't met before. This one guy who looked scottish or something, covered in shaggy red hair, had come with them, and brought a 'gauntlet'. It was this giant metal fist-glove, all spiked and shit, like a fucking death knight would wear, and somebody asks about it and he says to us, 'I like it hit people with it'. He then proceeds to piss off like, everyone in the audience, because word of the fucking gauntlet psycho travels fast, let me promise you that. And that is the story about why I hate people with red hair.

Fear and Love

Hey everybody I know I haven't written to you in a while, but I've been busy. I find myself a bit ill on this particular day, so because writing is a relatively low-energy activity, I am doing so.

Today I am writing about love, and fear. Separately. A lot of people will tell you that love and fear are linked, and that giving yourself to someone else, and exploring the possibilities of living your life with another person, taking on new direction... That love and fear can be siblings. But these people are full of shit, or just trying to complicate things, which makes them bastards. So bastards, or full of shit. One of the two. So here we go. I am going to educate you.

First, love. I've been in love. Some people say that they're not sure if they've been in love, or what love is. Well, that's ok. I don't know what a lot of things are either. Like I don't know what it feels like to have a nightmare. Ok, other things. Love and being 'In Love' are two different things. Your definition may vary, but to me, loving someone means that you'd give your life for them. Pretty simple. This also means I don't end every fucking conversation with 'I love you'. I think that trivializes the meaning of the phrase. When I tell someone 'I love you', it means 'hey, don't worry. If the shit gets real, I'll take care of you.' Now, being in love, on the other hand, doesn't necessarily mean the same thing. But it DOES mean that I want every inch of my body pressed up against every inch of hers. I hope that's not graphic or uncomfortable for you. If it is, you're lucky I'm going to let it drop there. That's because you're all my buddies :)

Ok, now on to fear. Fear is one way that your brain tells you 'Hey, what you are doing is probably going to get you killed. Or you might just lose an arm.' For instance, when you're in the front seat of a wicked coaster, and you're going over the first drop, that 'oh shit' feeling is fear, since your lower brain is smart enough to know that under normal circumstances, you shouldn't be in that position. The insane-drop position, that is. So it's important to pay attention to fear. BUT... irrational fear is bad. Again, for example, being afraid of black people. So next time you're afraid, do a simple check. Look at what is going on around you. If it is seriously scary, or fucked up, you're probably right to be afraid, and you should reassess your life choices. If, on the other hand, things are pretty copasetic, get a grip on yourself, you numb-skull.