So I am blogging to you again today since it is turkey vacation. I feel that it is important to keep you up to date with the latest events in my life. If you need live reports as events unfold, be sure to follow me on Twitter. Now... behold:
I'm still super sick. Like, sick beyond reason. It hurts to talk, and it hurts to swallow, and there is a girl here to clean the house and I can't really talk to her because I sound like an idiot. Luckily I am pretty good at communicating by pointing at things.
So Pittsburgh is a great city, but sadly it appears to be inaccessible by road. I don't mean that there aren't roads there, just that they are not a feasible means of transit. These are the things I have picked up so far:
In Pittsburgh, you do not need to use a turn signal in order to turn, and having your turn signal on does NOT indicate that you intend to turn.
You can park in a lane in the middle of the road, directly in front of a no parking sign, and walk away from your car.
Two lane roads and one lane roads are indistinguishable since those dashed white lines are completely optional here. This makes merging difficult since half of the people think that it is still two lanes.
When at a light, if someone is turning left, they are free to do so BEFORE the light turns green.
There are no police. The only thing that appears to keep people in line is Steeler Fever (This is a term I am still working on). Oh, and Steel Mill is pronounced 'Still Meal'.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
I am sick and in Pittsburgh
Ok, I've been killer busy lately so I haven't had time to update, but I'm taking this week off so I can move to Pittsburgh, so here we go again.
I am sick, and in Pittsburgh. Updates to follow.
I am sick, and in Pittsburgh. Updates to follow.
Friday, October 16, 2009
I will not humor you
Usual disclaimer here. Don't read anything I write.
People will do this:
They will walk into a room that I am sitting in, where it is dark, and they will say "It's dark in here" and then turn on the lights. As if I don't have either the cognitive or perceptive capacity to realize it is dark. Maybe it's dark because I wanted it to be dark, and you're an asshole for turning the lights on? That's a bit more of an advanced thought process than 'ITS DARK' though, so if I'm pushing you too far, I apologize.
Or even better, they'll walk in and say "Why are you sitting in the dark?". Ok, let me hold your hand and we can walk through this one together. The lights are off, there is a light switch, and if I wanted the lights to be on, I could flip the switch. So maybe I'm sitting in the dark because I FUCKING WANT TO BE. A fucking dog could handle this. A fucking dog could walk into the room, realize it is dark, and not go 'woof that's a puzzler. The lights are off, it is dark, I wonder why. I just fucking wonder why that is.'
People will also be helpful and tell you things like, "You're up early." No shit, really? Where I come from we don't have clocks, and I just wake up randomly, so it's great to have someone there to point these things out. Without the guidance of a third-rank master genius like you, I'd be lost. Tell me this, when it is dark outside, what is that called? Is that night? And what does it look like when it is day? And what's that glowing ball that appears in the sky? Because if I can't tell that it's fucking early, then I sure as shit can't figure out these advanced concepts.
The point of this rant is that I hate you.
People will do this:
They will walk into a room that I am sitting in, where it is dark, and they will say "It's dark in here" and then turn on the lights. As if I don't have either the cognitive or perceptive capacity to realize it is dark. Maybe it's dark because I wanted it to be dark, and you're an asshole for turning the lights on? That's a bit more of an advanced thought process than 'ITS DARK' though, so if I'm pushing you too far, I apologize.
Or even better, they'll walk in and say "Why are you sitting in the dark?". Ok, let me hold your hand and we can walk through this one together. The lights are off, there is a light switch, and if I wanted the lights to be on, I could flip the switch. So maybe I'm sitting in the dark because I FUCKING WANT TO BE. A fucking dog could handle this. A fucking dog could walk into the room, realize it is dark, and not go 'woof that's a puzzler. The lights are off, it is dark, I wonder why. I just fucking wonder why that is.'
People will also be helpful and tell you things like, "You're up early." No shit, really? Where I come from we don't have clocks, and I just wake up randomly, so it's great to have someone there to point these things out. Without the guidance of a third-rank master genius like you, I'd be lost. Tell me this, when it is dark outside, what is that called? Is that night? And what does it look like when it is day? And what's that glowing ball that appears in the sky? Because if I can't tell that it's fucking early, then I sure as shit can't figure out these advanced concepts.
The point of this rant is that I hate you.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
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