What could have been

The year is drawing to a close, and those of you who know me know that I am now a consultant.  It's this time of year I like to look back on everything that's happened, and reflect on what is, and what could have been.  While I have chosen the path of a consultant, that was certainly not my only consideration.  Here's just a few of my other options:

Kindergarden Cop: While I do have a computer science degree and enough technical knowledge to fill a pamphlet, computers aren't my only passion.  I also love justice, and what better place to dish it out than in Kindergarden?  First off, the kids are younger, so your justice can have a bigger impact.  Secondly, the kids are like, small, so you can basically stomp on them if they get out of hand.  Tertiarily, there has never been a greater need for cops in school, because kids are shooting each other and themselves like, every week.  "Billy, put those guns down!"    Book em, Dan o'

Bounty Hunter: Often while I was sitting in the computer lab pulling a 40-minute-er, I'd think, 'wow, I could ditch all of this, and just run off and become a bounty hunter.  No more tests, no more lab things, just me and the bounties'.  It was a good thought, and I think I would have made an excellent bounty hunter.  You see, most people think it's just about beating people down and breaking doors, but being a bounty hunter is all about being social, and resourceful, because the hardest part of the job is figuring out what the hell you're supposed to be doing.  Like, as a programmer, I'm often told to make something do something, but as a bounty hunter, you don't know what you're supposed to do at all!  You can't just grab the first person you see and take em' in, because odds are they're not bountied.  So... yeah.

Stretch Armstrong: There have been so many times when I could have used stretch armstrong.  Not like, THE stretch armstrong, but just a stretch armstrong.  Not the toy, either.  Like, if I drop something while I'm walking over a grate, and I can't get what I dropped, just stretch that shit down in there and get it.  Or if there's something on a shelf that I can't reach, or if a guardrail is broken and someone needs to stretch between the two posts and keep cars from going off the road.  Was I the right man for the job?  Probably.

Bowyer: I've played enough games and been in the hunting section of walmart enough to know a lot about bows and bow construction, as well as bow operation.  Here, it's not an issue of whether or not I would be a Master Bowyer.  I would be.  But it's an issue of if we actually need more bows.  Now that castles are rarely under siege, and police use tazers and batons and guns, and highwaymen aren't really common, the demand for bows has diminished.  Even my high-quality bows are generally unneeded.  And so again, I pass.

That's just a sampling of the things I had to consider before taking this position.  I think things will turn out pretty well over all.  Other people will fill the positions I have declined, and perhaps people more fit for those positions.  Probably not.  My The Ultimate Skills Of The Worker can't just be thrown around all willy-nilly though.