Nerf: Fuckin' Everything Up Basically

When I was a little kid, there were two ultimate weapons: Nerf guns, and Super Soakers. Of course, the super soakers were preferred, because they essentially had unlimited ammo (water), but nerf was good too. Basically, nerf had a whole assortment of weapons, but they all used one of three kinds of ammo: Small Darts, Large Missiles, or Balls. Supersoaker had two main models, the 50, and the 100. They were reliable, accurate, and when you ran out of ammo, you could beat the other kid with it, because it was sturdy. There were others around that same time, such as the 30 and 150, but everyone knew that the 20 was underpowered, and the 150 wasn't as reliable as the 100 or 50. Also, the supersoakers had largely interchangeable parts, as the bottles for the 30, 50, and 100 could be swapped in many instances.

Q: How hard is it to stick with something that works?
A: Apparently pretty fucking hard.

So now, Nerf has these guns that shoot a dozen weapon-specific projectiles in the most unconventional way, so the thing doesn't work right, or on the rare occasion that it does, it launches all of your projectiles and you never find the one again, and you can't go to the store and buy it, because there's no consistency and they can't sell extra packs of 50 different projectiles, and then the air bladder springs a leak, or one of the clips that holds a thing inside it breaks, and the whole thing is a big piece of non-recyclable crap, and don't get me started on super soaker. What the shit is an aquashock hydrablitz? There was a time when you learned the power of a good weapon, or you got beaten with one, and then learned the power of a good weapon, so either way you learned the power of a good weapon. Kids these days are too busy jacking themselves off over their oozinator 3400XC to know what the crap things do.