I was born in the Cincinnati area, and I've lived here all my life, but as people who know me know... I am not a Bengals fan. So once I was asked, what team am I a fan of? The answer, is none. I am not a fan of any teams. But it's more than that. I don't like any teams. Not as in "I don't follow football", but as in I really dislike all the teams, and wish that they would not win any games. Like some people see a game between Ohio and Michigan, and they say "Aah, I hate the Michigan team, they're the nuts!" and they talk about how much they hope they lose, that's me! Except for both teams! I seriously hope that somehow, neither team wins, and they would both lose at the same time, equally. I don't want any team to win! Ever! Like the only time I ever track scores, is to see if no team has won any games yet. If that's the case, I'm excited about the season. Otherwise... I'm just upset because someone won, and it doesn't matter which team it was. I wanted them to lose.
Also, I played soccer for like, 4 years, and played indoor for 2
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bugaboo Stroller
Hey everybody. Sorry I've been slacking a little on the writing lately, but there's been a lot going on. I've been meaning to continue my biography, but haven't really had the time to sit down and really compose my thoughts.
One thing I have noticed lately, however, is these fucking Bugaboo strollers, which is major annoying. Why have I noticed strollers? I fucking don't know, but everywhere I go, god damn Bugaboo strollers. In stores, online, fucking in little ad bars on pages I'm looking at... and what exactly has gotten me sucked into the demographic of dumb motherfuckers who buy stupid shit?
I'm going to point out a few things that make you a dumbass if you've bought one of these. Don't take offense! It's not my fault you spend money like an shit head.
First off, I guess the great thing about these, is that you put your baby in this little baby-holder unit, and then you can put it in the stroller, but then you can detach the unit from the stroller, and like... put it in a car seat holder, or I don't know. Some other dumb shit. Just set it somewhere. Anyway, I know we live in the laziest country in the world, and we've got more fat-asses now than ever, but... your baby is a small person. It is not a modular fucking system. Keeping it attached to this one unit for 90% of your day because you're a lazy god damn moron isn't going to help matters. Also, your baby is going to grow up to be retarded, but that's genetic, and unrelated to the Bugaboo.
Secondly, when I was a kid, my stroller faced away from the person pushing it. This had the advantage of... oh... I don't know... me being able to see shit. This bugaboo stroller has the kid facing you, which is great for you, because your dumbass is walking along, looking at shit, and you can look at the baby too. How nice for you. Selfish piece of shit. Did you ever stop to think that something like the wonders of nature might be more interesting to the baby than your shit-eating grin? Probably not, if you bought this piece of crap.
Finally, the accessories for this fucking system are enough to make me shit. $30 for a cup holder. For your retarded stroller. So your baby can watch you fucking drink while it's facing the wrong way. In the past, people with too much money could buy cocaine, and then things would eventually and naturally even themselves out when said person died in a nightclub bathroom. This new shit doesn't have the same wonderful effect, and people just keep on going.
Really... if the company that makes these just gets them out of my face, I'll appreciate it.
One thing I have noticed lately, however, is these fucking Bugaboo strollers, which is major annoying. Why have I noticed strollers? I fucking don't know, but everywhere I go, god damn Bugaboo strollers. In stores, online, fucking in little ad bars on pages I'm looking at... and what exactly has gotten me sucked into the demographic of dumb motherfuckers who buy stupid shit?
I'm going to point out a few things that make you a dumbass if you've bought one of these. Don't take offense! It's not my fault you spend money like an shit head.
First off, I guess the great thing about these, is that you put your baby in this little baby-holder unit, and then you can put it in the stroller, but then you can detach the unit from the stroller, and like... put it in a car seat holder, or I don't know. Some other dumb shit. Just set it somewhere. Anyway, I know we live in the laziest country in the world, and we've got more fat-asses now than ever, but... your baby is a small person. It is not a modular fucking system. Keeping it attached to this one unit for 90% of your day because you're a lazy god damn moron isn't going to help matters. Also, your baby is going to grow up to be retarded, but that's genetic, and unrelated to the Bugaboo.
Secondly, when I was a kid, my stroller faced away from the person pushing it. This had the advantage of... oh... I don't know... me being able to see shit. This bugaboo stroller has the kid facing you, which is great for you, because your dumbass is walking along, looking at shit, and you can look at the baby too. How nice for you. Selfish piece of shit. Did you ever stop to think that something like the wonders of nature might be more interesting to the baby than your shit-eating grin? Probably not, if you bought this piece of crap.
Finally, the accessories for this fucking system are enough to make me shit. $30 for a cup holder. For your retarded stroller. So your baby can watch you fucking drink while it's facing the wrong way. In the past, people with too much money could buy cocaine, and then things would eventually and naturally even themselves out when said person died in a nightclub bathroom. This new shit doesn't have the same wonderful effect, and people just keep on going.
Really... if the company that makes these just gets them out of my face, I'll appreciate it.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
How to Recognize When You Aren't Getting a Tip
The hofbrauhaus in Newport is a good place to go for beers and yelling a lot, but parking in Newport is always such a bitch, because of all the god damn assholes who go there. Fortunately, the hofbrauhaus has a parking lot, where they will valet park your car for $5. This is a major plus, because I never have to worry about where to park. The key point here, is that I pull up to the hofbrauhaus, get out of my car, hand a valet $5, and he literally parks my car, literally, 10 feet from where I got out. Literally. It would be possible to park closer, even, but the first two spaces are generally full already. So what's my issue?
I'm not tipping you, for motherfucking parking my car right in front of me. In fact, I'll tip your ass if you just get out of the fucking way, and let me park myself. Please don't think me to be cheap! I'm normally a generous tipper, but a tip depends upon a level of service, and moving my car 10 feet is not a service. Fuck, it takes me longer to park because of the god damn valet service. If motherfuckers took my $5 and got out of the way, that's a service I would pay for. $7 to get your dumb ass out of my way so I can park. Just tack your tip on to that.
Ok, so to the point, here's how you recognize when you're about to NOT get a tip for 'valeting':
You stand there like a moron while I don't give you any money.
I'm not tipping you, for motherfucking parking my car right in front of me. In fact, I'll tip your ass if you just get out of the fucking way, and let me park myself. Please don't think me to be cheap! I'm normally a generous tipper, but a tip depends upon a level of service, and moving my car 10 feet is not a service. Fuck, it takes me longer to park because of the god damn valet service. If motherfuckers took my $5 and got out of the way, that's a service I would pay for. $7 to get your dumb ass out of my way so I can park. Just tack your tip on to that.
Ok, so to the point, here's how you recognize when you're about to NOT get a tip for 'valeting':
You stand there like a moron while I don't give you any money.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Random Thoughts
If something is an outrage, it might be said that it is 'outrageous'.
"Down in front" is only appropriate to yell if someone in front of you needs to get down. Otherwise, it doesn't make much sense.
If they can have a guy turn a light on and off by thinking about it and having sensors hooked up to his head, why don't they just make it so he can control a whole bunch of stuff, and that would be really efficient, I imagine.
Regular cars take gas. Fuel-cell cars take electricity. Hybrid cars take gas, just less of it. So it's not really that they're 'hybrid', it's more like someone who wasn't a dumbass finally figured out how to make a car more efficient. Everyone else: Shit Heads. I can imagine the invention now: "Hey Marcus, what if instead of just fucking pumping tons of gas into the engine, we see if we can get it to work, and use less?" God damn retardeds...
Mangosteen
"Down in front" is only appropriate to yell if someone in front of you needs to get down. Otherwise, it doesn't make much sense.
If they can have a guy turn a light on and off by thinking about it and having sensors hooked up to his head, why don't they just make it so he can control a whole bunch of stuff, and that would be really efficient, I imagine.
Regular cars take gas. Fuel-cell cars take electricity. Hybrid cars take gas, just less of it. So it's not really that they're 'hybrid', it's more like someone who wasn't a dumbass finally figured out how to make a car more efficient. Everyone else: Shit Heads. I can imagine the invention now: "Hey Marcus, what if instead of just fucking pumping tons of gas into the engine, we see if we can get it to work, and use less?" God damn retardeds...
Mangosteen
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Site Stats
So recently I realized that when I changed the look of my blog, I also broke the stats gathering tool built into it, and as such, don't have any site data for the last 5 months. But... here are some site statistics for your possible entertainment:
Top 4 Posts:
Overclocking the GeForce 5700LE
Kubuntu Feisty Installation Part 1
Kubuntu Feisty Installation Part 2
2000 Eclipse Center Speaker Replacement
Browsers
57% Firefox
32% Internet Explorer
7% Safari
2% Opera
Operating Systems:
63% Windows
24% Linux
13% Mac
Top 4 Posts:
Overclocking the GeForce 5700LE
Kubuntu Feisty Installation Part 1
Kubuntu Feisty Installation Part 2
2000 Eclipse Center Speaker Replacement
Browsers
57% Firefox
32% Internet Explorer
7% Safari
2% Opera
Operating Systems:
63% Windows
24% Linux
13% Mac
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Observations about car companies
Mazda has a lot of sweet looking cars, the best being the RX-8.
If Saturn made the Sky in a roadster type style instead of a convertible, it would be awesome. Also it would be cool if they got rid of the name 'Sky'.
Ford doesn't have shit for cars. They've got the mustang, which blows chodes because every rich highschooler has one. That's about it.
Lexus has no idea how to make a sports car. They're basically borderline retarded. They've got a 4.3 Liter V8 with 280hp, and then you look at a company like Saab which gets 288hp with a 2.0L V6. Basically, if you're driving around a lexus, you're just fucking yourself.
BMW has good looking cars if you're into that 90s BMW look.
Mitsubishi ONLY makes sweet cars. In fact, for the last 10 years the Eclipse has been one of the sweetest cars ever, through 3 different major model revisions, which is so sad because the other car companies are idiots.
Scion's website is fucked up, so I wouldn't be surprised if their cars were too. Oh wait, they are. That fucking square-car.
Volkswagen hasn't figured out how to make a sports car yet. No disrespect, they just haven't. (HINT: MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A SPORTS CAR)
What happened to Toyota making a sports car?
Basically I hope the good old Eclipse lives long enough for someone to make a sweet-ass fuel-cell sports car.
If Saturn made the Sky in a roadster type style instead of a convertible, it would be awesome. Also it would be cool if they got rid of the name 'Sky'.
Ford doesn't have shit for cars. They've got the mustang, which blows chodes because every rich highschooler has one. That's about it.
Lexus has no idea how to make a sports car. They're basically borderline retarded. They've got a 4.3 Liter V8 with 280hp, and then you look at a company like Saab which gets 288hp with a 2.0L V6. Basically, if you're driving around a lexus, you're just fucking yourself.
BMW has good looking cars if you're into that 90s BMW look.
Mitsubishi ONLY makes sweet cars. In fact, for the last 10 years the Eclipse has been one of the sweetest cars ever, through 3 different major model revisions, which is so sad because the other car companies are idiots.
Scion's website is fucked up, so I wouldn't be surprised if their cars were too. Oh wait, they are. That fucking square-car.
Volkswagen hasn't figured out how to make a sports car yet. No disrespect, they just haven't. (HINT: MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A SPORTS CAR)
What happened to Toyota making a sports car?
Basically I hope the good old Eclipse lives long enough for someone to make a sweet-ass fuel-cell sports car.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Biography Part Two: Lessons Learned
Lessons Learned
There are a series of weapons you should go for if ever accosted. They are, in order from best to least great:
Guns (Including Nail Guns)
A Flamethrower
Sword and full armor
just a sword
A Whip (If you're good with a whip)
Strange unconventional weapons, like two spiked balls tied together, or some kind of staff
Rope
Soft foam bats
A Poster
A Small thing like a tissue box
Nothing
Also Rocks, but rocks can be of a variety of usefulness depending on the situation, so can not be put in order. Also kung-fu, because if you're really good, you can defeat anyone, but if you're like, faking it, then it's probably not even as good as a soft foam bat.
8 Hours for work, 8 Hours for sleep, 8 Hours for what we will.
You can make any noun a proper noun by insisting it is a proper noun.
Important things to learn are how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to drive, and special licenses. The woods can be a treacherous place, like once I saw a opossum, but with proper wilderness survival training, anything is possible, even living in the woods! This will be handy if ever you have to hide from the law. Always go deep into the forest, but not so deep that there are bears. Live near water, so you can get fish, because apparently there are lots of those, but it might be hard to always find a raccoon to spear. If a mushroom looks harmless to eat, it probably is. Cooking will be difficult in the woods, so bring enough stuff to make fire, sure, but they have really cheap ass grills at Lowes or Home Depot that will be awesome to have, and you could use it like a backpack, or if you got a really big one you'd just be a dumbass.
Spell checkers will be our downfall. Because you can never trust the spell checker, because it doesn't know a lot of swear words like fecus, and so it will try to change it to faces which could be really bad, and also they recognize some words that aren't real. Also, sometimes it doesn't say anything is misspelled, so you send your email off like a dumbass, not realizing that you meant to type does, but you typed dose, and you look like a stupid bastard because you typed the wrong word and sent it. So to be better, we should just disable the spell checker, and learn to proof read our shit, because at least that way we'd know who couldn't fucking write, and we'd all just learn to be ok with it. Fuck, half the people on the internet can't spell for shit. Anyone who does that HAI!!!!! R U CMING 2 T HS 2 D ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ I hope when they die they shit their pants.
If somebody has a shady job, don't trust them. They're probably up to something shady. Most doctors are probably shady. Vampires are 50/50. Never tell the military that you have an unbreakable code, because they'll probably bug you forever to get it from you. You'll have to make something up and they'll catch you in a lie!
Use the right tool for the right job. If you ever catch yourself trying to use a tool for a wrong job, you're a dumbass. Put that down and go get a real screw driver. You just look like a dumbass doing it wrong.
Respect is mainly based on luck. Keep track of how much each person respects you, so you know the status.
It's pretty easy to pretend you have like, a 6th sense, by just insisting that you do, but make it something obvious, like you can sense when you're watching tv. People will be like, no, you can see and hear the tv, so those are normal senses, and you just insist that you can tell when you're watching tv some other way, that you just can't explain. You just KNOW it.
It's better to have a job than to not have a job. And then it's better to have a higher paying job than a lower paying one, and finally it's better to have a good job than one that sucks. Try to follow these guidelines when getting a job.
Metal is one of the strongest materials known to man. There are a lot of other strong ones though, so keep that in mind. The ground has boron in it, and it's pretty strong.
Don't build in a floodplain, dumbasses.
There are a series of weapons you should go for if ever accosted. They are, in order from best to least great:
Guns (Including Nail Guns)
A Flamethrower
Sword and full armor
just a sword
A Whip (If you're good with a whip)
Strange unconventional weapons, like two spiked balls tied together, or some kind of staff
Rope
Soft foam bats
A Poster
A Small thing like a tissue box
Nothing
Also Rocks, but rocks can be of a variety of usefulness depending on the situation, so can not be put in order. Also kung-fu, because if you're really good, you can defeat anyone, but if you're like, faking it, then it's probably not even as good as a soft foam bat.
8 Hours for work, 8 Hours for sleep, 8 Hours for what we will.
You can make any noun a proper noun by insisting it is a proper noun.
Important things to learn are how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to drive, and special licenses. The woods can be a treacherous place, like once I saw a opossum, but with proper wilderness survival training, anything is possible, even living in the woods! This will be handy if ever you have to hide from the law. Always go deep into the forest, but not so deep that there are bears. Live near water, so you can get fish, because apparently there are lots of those, but it might be hard to always find a raccoon to spear. If a mushroom looks harmless to eat, it probably is. Cooking will be difficult in the woods, so bring enough stuff to make fire, sure, but they have really cheap ass grills at Lowes or Home Depot that will be awesome to have, and you could use it like a backpack, or if you got a really big one you'd just be a dumbass.
Spell checkers will be our downfall. Because you can never trust the spell checker, because it doesn't know a lot of swear words like fecus, and so it will try to change it to faces which could be really bad, and also they recognize some words that aren't real. Also, sometimes it doesn't say anything is misspelled, so you send your email off like a dumbass, not realizing that you meant to type does, but you typed dose, and you look like a stupid bastard because you typed the wrong word and sent it. So to be better, we should just disable the spell checker, and learn to proof read our shit, because at least that way we'd know who couldn't fucking write, and we'd all just learn to be ok with it. Fuck, half the people on the internet can't spell for shit. Anyone who does that HAI!!!!! R U CMING 2 T HS 2 D ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ I hope when they die they shit their pants.
If somebody has a shady job, don't trust them. They're probably up to something shady. Most doctors are probably shady. Vampires are 50/50. Never tell the military that you have an unbreakable code, because they'll probably bug you forever to get it from you. You'll have to make something up and they'll catch you in a lie!
Use the right tool for the right job. If you ever catch yourself trying to use a tool for a wrong job, you're a dumbass. Put that down and go get a real screw driver. You just look like a dumbass doing it wrong.
Respect is mainly based on luck. Keep track of how much each person respects you, so you know the status.
It's pretty easy to pretend you have like, a 6th sense, by just insisting that you do, but make it something obvious, like you can sense when you're watching tv. People will be like, no, you can see and hear the tv, so those are normal senses, and you just insist that you can tell when you're watching tv some other way, that you just can't explain. You just KNOW it.
It's better to have a job than to not have a job. And then it's better to have a higher paying job than a lower paying one, and finally it's better to have a good job than one that sucks. Try to follow these guidelines when getting a job.
Metal is one of the strongest materials known to man. There are a lot of other strong ones though, so keep that in mind. The ground has boron in it, and it's pretty strong.
Don't build in a floodplain, dumbasses.
Biography Part One: Summary:
Summary:
I was born young in 1982. As I grew up, I began to sense things around me, through the use of my five normal senses, and other senses not recognized. As a child, most of my genius went unrecognized, or ridiculed. Like Operation Total Status. It would be a great name for a military operation, particularly if the operation were tactical in nature, like they were getting the status of something. But really I spent most of my childhood doing crap other than inventing or leading military operations. When I was 9, it felt like I was 9 until I was 11. Now that I think about it, that's really only one extra year, but when I was that age, I thought it was a huge amount of time. It was like, a year.
I went to catholic school for about 12 years, and then some kind of college, which was not catholic I don't think. I took about every class they had, but somehow did not become a doctor, at least not as I write this. Last week I think there was a holiday, and then again, this week there is another.
Sometimes I wonder if people are lying to me, and I'd like to go up to them and be like, 'Hey!' and just start making accusations incase they crack and I find out one of them is right, and be like, 'Hey God Damn It! I know the reason they never made Operation Total Status was you, you dick!' and see if it's true.
Possibly in the future I'd like to be a zombie hunter, which is something I think I'd be really good at. Maybe not even the hunting part, but if I knew where zombies were in advance, and could get to them, I could take them down pretty hard.
I was born young in 1982. As I grew up, I began to sense things around me, through the use of my five normal senses, and other senses not recognized. As a child, most of my genius went unrecognized, or ridiculed. Like Operation Total Status. It would be a great name for a military operation, particularly if the operation were tactical in nature, like they were getting the status of something. But really I spent most of my childhood doing crap other than inventing or leading military operations. When I was 9, it felt like I was 9 until I was 11. Now that I think about it, that's really only one extra year, but when I was that age, I thought it was a huge amount of time. It was like, a year.
I went to catholic school for about 12 years, and then some kind of college, which was not catholic I don't think. I took about every class they had, but somehow did not become a doctor, at least not as I write this. Last week I think there was a holiday, and then again, this week there is another.
Sometimes I wonder if people are lying to me, and I'd like to go up to them and be like, 'Hey!' and just start making accusations incase they crack and I find out one of them is right, and be like, 'Hey God Damn It! I know the reason they never made Operation Total Status was you, you dick!' and see if it's true.
Possibly in the future I'd like to be a zombie hunter, which is something I think I'd be really good at. Maybe not even the hunting part, but if I knew where zombies were in advance, and could get to them, I could take them down pretty hard.
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