As stated, I am not interested in watching or listening to this musical, or whatever, mainly due to the fucked up pictures I found on the internet which display images of whatever freaks they talked into being in this thing, doing just seven different flavors of fucked up. Instead, I will be providing you with a review directly from a basic synopsis I found online:
Act I - When Cats are Maddened by the Midnight Dance
What the FUCK does that mean? I'm really searching here. If we're talking about indoor cats, then maybe they're upset because some jackass in a fucking fur suit is prancing around in the middle of the god damned night, and that's where whoever wrote this got their idea. So the cats are maddened, or being maddened in this act, or some crap. So what do they do? Thex explain that they are some tribe, and they all hang out, and there's a dance tonight and one of them gets to be reincarnated. Oh. Well that makes sense. I'd pay fucking $80 to sit in the fucking loft and watch that. That's got all of my god damn interests rolled into one. Fucking Tribe Bullshit, Cat Dancing, and God Damn Reincarnation. Fuck it! I'll buy tickets to any fucking thing!
They introduce the cats, which from what I gather is a bunch of bullshit. Oh, also one of the cats is named Rumpleteazer. Just... what the shit....
So then there's singing and dancing. Fuck.
Act II - Why Will the Summer Day Delay - When Will Time Flow Away?
Ok, not as bad as the name for the first act, but based on how accurate it proved to be, I bet this act has absolutely NOTHING to do with summer bullshit.
So apparently here they introduce some more cats, which is great. We're half way through the fucking thing and you're still introducing characters. What critic of the arts wouldn't give this two fucking thumbs up? Why, I'd stake my whole reputation on this fucking thing being a literary epidemic of genius! Oh yeah! One of the cats is a train conductor. Fuck em with that too!
You know what? Bullshit. I don't even have to finish reading the script, because the guy is just making shit up. Anybody can do this. What happens next? I bet a cat gets mugged, and then they find a magical cat. Well guess what! They fucking do! They fucking find a magical cat, after one of them gets mugged. And get ready for a spoiler, cause here's the end: One of the cats gets sent to heaven. Holy shit.
If you were to ask my opinion of the musical 'Cats' on a scale of one to ten, I'd just stand there and look at you like the dumbass you are. This is just an hour of furries doing absolutely random shit. And why the fuck is everyone a cat? Where does that metaphor come into play? OH YEAH! I GET IT! IT'S EX-FUCKING-ZACTLY THE SAME AS PEOPLE, BUT WITH CATS. FUCK ME WITH AN OSTRIDGE THAT'S DEEP!!!
Basically, if you're in New York City, and you've got the opportunity to see this, you'd be better off just getting peed on in Times Square. And look... if you've got some kind of thing for the whole 'cat people' furry crap, I don't give a shit, but keep it in the fucking bedroom. You don't see me chasing your retarded ass around the square with a whip, so take a fucking hint.
That is the funniest thing i've read in a LOOONG time. Holy Crap! Keep that stuff coming!!!!
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