Midlife Crisis Rescue Opportunity

The concept of a midlife crisis is a construct of our civilization and society here in America, and it's something you don't really find in a country like India or China. Granted I'm generalizing here, and society as a whole is progressing at a great speed in eastern countries (and fuck you if you take offense anyway), but in India, for example, you are born into a caste or a role, and you know how your life is going to be. There are predefined expectations and limitations. In America, however, we don't have that. The very American Dream is to start with nothing and rise to the top, and it's an image embedded in us by our friends, family, the media, everything around us.

The issue with this is that it's bullshit. Even if you do start with nothing and rise to the top, you're pushing some other schmuck down, so it's not possible for everyone to achieve the great dream. Even if everyone had complete and total drive, and motivation, it is economically impossible for everyone to win, because at the end of the day, someone has to clean up all the shit, and unfortunately you can't buy a mansion on a shit-cleaner's salary. Furthermore, with things like car wrecks, cancer, skydiving accidents, etc, a lot of people are simply cut down before they have a chance to achieve anything close to the dream.

Hence we have the midlife crisis. At some point, you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize that you're not going to make it. There is never going to be some magical event that puts you on top of the world. You're not going to have a private jet, helicopter, a 40-acre villa, a penthouse apartment, scantily clad maid women serving you, whatever your fancy is. You're just not going to get it. You're going to wake up, go to work, and sit in an office for the next 20 years, then retire, maybe travel to Europe or some bullshit like that, eventually forget how to control your pooping, and then die.

And it can go beyond that. You might have different opinions about life after death and heaven and hell and nirvana and all that, but being a man of science, I'm fairly sure that after you die, your body rots in the ground. After that everyone you've ever known dies, and after that everyone you've ever affected dies. Some time after that, before the universe cools, the last human dies, earth, the solar system, the milky way, they're all destroyed in mundane ultra-cosmic day-to-day happenings, and nothing you've done ever matters.

Some people find this mildly depressing.

So... you realize this, go buy a sports car, try to date a model or something stupid like that, then grow old and die anyway, because there's nothing you can do to change things. There's your midlife crisis.

Luckily, I am able to sell blessings which will save your soul, and let you spend eternity in heaven with 69 virgins. Unfortunately the lord does not let me accept cash donations, but you can use the button below to buy things on my wish list for me. For every item you get me, I will send you directly to paradise after you die. I want you to keep in mind the value that you are getting. Is paradise worth $50? $500? $50,000? Hell yes it is. Get on this.