Theorem 1.0 Revisited

Okay, I've been getting some flak about Theorem 1.0, so I'm here to clarify a few things that I guess I thought were just 'given'.

If a bug does not eat a smaller bug, it doesn't count as a bug. It's just an insect. 'Bug' is a subset of insects. Well, maybe it wasn't before, but it is now. They were just redundant words before today. So another example:

You have 5 ants and 1 large bug in a jar. If the large bug doesn't have a jones for eating smaller bugs, it's just an insect, and you're doing it wrong. Otherwise, the sum of the bugs is 1.

You see, you can't just take someone's carefully calculated theorems and just insert whatever crap you have lying around into it. Like, I wouldn't take the second law of thermodynamics and just replace the word 'heat' with 'barnacles'. It doesn't work if you just crap it up like that. This is why I can't have nice scientific awards.

Also, while it might work if you have small bugs in a jar and then put in a lizard, that is a gross extrapolation of the theorem. You can't just make things up. These theorems undergo rigorous scientific testing, and the scientific method. That might make a good Theorem 1.1, but I'm not just going to jump out there and claim things that haven't been proven.

Theorem 1.0

My work is generally overlooked by the scientific community, but I think I've hit paydirt this time. I present to you, Theorem 1.0, The Sum Of Bugs:

Theorem 1.0, The Sum Of Bugs:
The sum of a set of n bugs is equal to the number of the largest bugs.

Example 1:
There are 10 ants in a jar. All the ants are of equal size. The sum of those bugs is 10.

Example 2:
There are 9 ants and one spider in a jar. The spider is larger than the ants, so the sum of the bugs is 1. This is because the larger bug, the spider, will consolidate the smaller bugs into its own bug body.

Example 3:
There are 3 ants, 2 spiders, and one big ugly bug with 2 sets of wings and big jointed legs in a jar. Since the largest bug is the big ugly one, and there is only one of them, the sum of those bugs is 1. This is because the spiders will consolidate the ants into their bodies, and the big ugly bug will consolidate the spiders into its body.

The implications of this theorem are far reaching, from space exploration, to medicine, and bug-studies, but mainly bug-studies. If anyone runs a reputable scientific publication and needs some filler, let me know.

Fall 2006

I'm on a roll. Two posts in one night. That's because I'm putting off some homework. I work better under pressure anyways. So this is the start of my 6th year in college. Here's what I've got on my plate so far:

Computer Architecture - This is taught by Dr. Rao, who I've had before. Dr. Rao cracks me the hell up. This is a particularly good thing, because I already took the second part of the class, and I think I already know most of what we're going to cover, so he will keep me entertained and things will still be interesting. Rao is a good prof. Anyone who says different, I cut their face. Also good, I have that class with Sheena.

Software Engineering - I guess this is like CSA470j on steroids, and with team work. The professor, Dr. Kiper, seems pretty cool so far, and the work seems interesting. I guess since this is the senior capstone, they expect you to kill yourself working on the projects and whatnot. We'll see. I think the prof will make things fun enough that I don't have to kill anyone, since I sure as hell am not going after myself. Also good, I have that class with Sheena.

Compiler Design - I dreaded this class. Compiler Design is like...I don't know. Something I don't want to do. Like, if I could have any tech job, I think compiler design would be my last freakin pick. Writing in assembly is cool. Writing in higher level languages is cool. If I want to translate between the two, I'll do it in my mind, or just use the right language to begin with. Anyway. It looks like it is actually going to be pretty interesting. Also good, I have that class with Sheena.

Database Systems - To be totally honest, the first day of class, when the professor walked into the room, I was very concerned. The professor was an old dude with a name I couldn't pronounce, and he sat there and just looked over us all while we waited. Turns out, he's pretty cool, and he cracks a funny every now and then that busts everyone up. This is an interesting class because there is a group of business students in the back. Business students = hot chicks. Since I've been working with databases since...well crap...since I was like...12? I'm not too worried about the class, and maybe I'll pick up a tutoring opportunity along the way ;) Probably not though. This class I have with Jon, who is Sheena's ex. He's a smart dude, and he's got a good sense of humor, so I like him. It'll make things fun. Additionally, I sit next to a girl who helps out at an animal shelter down in Cincy, so she's good people. And there's a guy in the front row I say hi to also, his name is either Jim or Tom. I'm going to go with Tom.

Intro to Artificial Intelligence - This class is too god damned big. In a class where you deal with abstract issues like computers thinking, you need small classes for discussion. Whoever put 33 people in this class needs a punch to the head. Also, the professor hands out everything on paper. I do not want to carry around a bunch of paper. I'm a computer science major, not some kind of crap major where you collect shit in folders and lug it around in a backpack and file it in folders and staple things together. The content is interesting though, and the professor seems like a nice guy, so I'm dealing. Also good, I have that class with Sheena.

Probability - Probability is math. What can I say? I like math, but don't exactly like doing homework and taking tests, so it's neutral. The class it a little dry, but like I said, it's math, so I don't know what I expect. Tom is in this class.

So all in all, a good semester ahead, I think! No real complaints. We'll see though. It's still early.

Stop Bashing Wiki

Okay, out of my 6 classes this semester, I think 3 of my professors mentioned something to the effect of how Wikipedia is not a reliable source for research. I've got a beef.

Granted there's a lot of crap in Wikipedia, between political and business people pushing sides of an issue, 9-year-olds with AOL accounts who just like to mess things up, and people who just don't know what they're talking about, but the Wikipedia community as a whole is fairly on-top of their shit, particularly when it comes to technology-related issues, which happens to be my field. I think the key to using Wikipedia as a resource is knowing how to look at and understand the history of an article, as well as being able to reason and understand what you read.

I'm not working on any papers, and I'd never use Wikipedia as my only resource. I'm just saying. Don't trash it.

Fun Bits

I really have enough going on I should give a nice update and tell some tales, but I'm a bit busy, so enjoy these bits:

Magic Smoke
Hopkin Green Frog

Save me...

Armor Of God PJ's

Should have partied like 2000

When I was a wee-lad, I always liked the Prince song '1999', and thought it was cool to party like it was 1999. Unfortunately, when 1999 rolled around, not only did I forget to party like it was 1999, but 1999 was a really lame year for partying, particularly in comparison to 2000, which was totally off the chain, and 1998, which was a major year for partying in High School.

Anyway. Every time I hear the song now, I think of how 1999 was kind of a downer year. I'm actually partying like it's 1999 right now, as I sit here in front of my computer. Woo woo...

Tiny Nibbles!!!

Okay, so recently, in an attempt to be more interesting (a difficult task) I've changed my Chat message to be the iTunes track I am listening to. This popped up an interesting issue. My favorite album right now is 10,000 Days, by Tool. After Tool plays, U2 plays, of which I have only one song. After U comes V, which is Violet Blue. If you're not familiar with Violet Blue, I'm not surprised. She's a sex writer/educator, and she has a podcast which I listen to. So if I don't catch myself, and leave my music on and go off to watch something on TV or something to that effect, my iTunes message is going to say 'Open Source Sex' for about 2 hours, and my average buddy will think I'm a perv.

So in an effort to deal with this issue, I've resolved to educate. If you don't know who Violet Blue is, go check out her website, Tiny Nibbles. It's not a porn site, but it does deal with peoples naughty bits. If you don't think you can handle that, skip it.

Also, here is her podcast, Open Source Sex. It's always entertaining. Sometimes she reads excerpts from her books, other times she has guests on the show. You might even learn something that makes you less boring in bed! You don't have to use iTunes to listen to podcasts, there are many free, open source applications you can use to listen to them also.

The Progression of Relational Experience

That's just some BS I came up with on the fly. Somebody should write a book and use that title, and give me 4 cents for each copy sold.

So recently one of my friends got dumped by one of my acquaintances.

One of the hardest relationships to maintain, IMHO, is when you are friends with two people, and they're dating. Because inevitably, one of them has a problem with the other, and they want to confide in you, and you're like...either keeping secrets from your other friend, or triangulating for their problems. Either way, not good. It's different if they're married, because you can just laugh at them because of the predicament they are in, but not with dating. Not that that is related to the dumping mentioned above...That's just a thought of mine.

Anyway, you know, what can you say to someone when they get dumped? Anyone who has been there knows that nothing really makes it better. Maybe temporarily, but if you had a good relationship, it's generally a fairly long period of grief, unless you've been cheating and you're over things right away because you're dicking with some schmuck with eyes that are too close together.

At least the reason for that grief is from a loss, and to have a loss, you have to have had something in the first place, and the reason you're hurting is because you had so many good times, and you've gotta let that balance, you know? Like, the good with the bad. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I really believe that.

And when you've broken off a relationship, some people go for a rebound, and go with someone crappy just to get by, but I've never experienced that. When you loose somebody, you go for somebody better, and step it up. Not to say that the person is of higher quality, but someone better for you. That's the important thing. So each progressive relationship has the potential to be a richer experience than the last, because you're more experienced, and you know what you're going for, and what you want.

I guess my final thought for now on this topic is that these two people who have broken up are both in college with me right now, and really, what better time to be single, you know? And have a chance to meet new people, and experience new things, and live different aspects of life with different people. What an opportunity that is. That's worth something.

That's all I've got for now. Do with it what you will. Actually, if you read through all that, I'm surprised. I've neglected to proof read or anything, and it's mainly a big unorganized rant. You're a special kind of person. Go get a cookie. You deserve it.

Vacation - Day 4 - Part Deux

Today we hung out and enjoyed the good life. In the afternoon there was a cookout at the resort, and we got burgers, and hotdogs, and coleslaw, and beans, and potato salad. They gave away two cruises, and a dinner certificate, but we did not win, unfortunately.

Later in the day we headed down to the beach, and played in high tide, with many massive waves. We sat down on the beach where the waves were washing in, and Amber said something about coral, and she reached for a shell, and a crab just popped out of the sand behind us! We reacted quickly and used a boogie board to block him from just running into the beach. He was well over a decimeter long. He stopped and looked at us, and then a wave came and rescued him, and he scurried back into the ocean, snapping as he went. It was a most excellent experience. Amber does a good impression of the crab. Apparently he was French.

Edit: The crab was a Ghost Crab.

Vacation - Day 4

Yesterday we went to the Kennedy Space Center. We were there for like...a long time, and we experienced lots of space stuff. We'll upload the whole spatter of pictures somewhere late, but for now, here's a taste:

Here is me, over on the left, under a Saturn-V rocket. It is large.


This is me, as an astronaut on Mars. In my hands, I have a space-accordian, which will be used to entertain the citizens of the future. My eyes are glowing because (see the movie 'Doom' for more info).


This is the rocket garden at the Kennedy Space Center. This is where they keep rockets that were not actually used to send things into space. We took a tour and learned all kinds of stuff about them.


Today I have kind of convinced Amber to take it easy, so I can heal and relax, and then tomorrow, we head out to see manitees and other wildlife early in the morning! It will be sweet.

Vacation - Day 3

Yesterday we went out and played in the ocean and got burned all to hell. I blame...The sea.

A few shots from yesterday:

Amber pointed out to me that from our balcony, we could see water in either direction, the ocean, or, pictured here, the Banana River (I think it is)


Here's a shot of the pool area in the day time. We actually have yet to visit it, we've been in the ocean so much. We need a day to heal our skin, and we'll be out there tomorrow for a cookout!


Here we found a huge rock with some holes in it, and Amber stuck her head through one of the little holes. It's like those wood cutouts where you put your head in, and you're a cowboy or an astronaut, except you're just a rock, in this case:


This is Amber enjoying a margarita in the Aztec restaurant downstairs in the hotel. They had fajitas that were totally good, but I don't think Amber liked them. Luckily, she got alcohol, which calmed her raging temper, if only for a single meal:


Today, we're about to leave to go to the Kennedy Space Center, and see all the wonders of astronauting.

Vacation - Day 2

We have arrived in Florida! The weather is good, and we went right down to the beach and jumped in the warm water. It was most excellent.

Our hotel...suite...is huge. We have 3 beds, 2 bathrooms, a full kitchen, 2 balconies, and a living room. If I'd known it was this big, I would have insisted on family coming. I thought we'd be in a little place!

Anyway, we went to the store, and here we are eating our late supper of good sandwiches, potato salad, watermelon, and brews:



And here is the pool at night:

Vacation - Day 1 - Part Deux

Okay, here's the hotel we're staying at:

The Resort At Cocoa Beach

So supposedly it's 'off the chain'. This is all thanks to Amber's Uncle Randy. He had a timeshare that saved us on this vacation when the place we were planning on staying at screwed us by not following through and messing up our reservation. That place was Compass Cove at Myrtle Beach. I won't link, they're bastards.

Anyway, I hope we get some good sleep tonight, because we've got about 8 hours of driving before we hit the beach tomorrow!

Vacation - Day 1

I'm on vacation, so I'm not planning on keeping up with this, but behold: I am on vacation!!!

Amber and I left this morning, and now we are in Georgia, spending the night in Cartersville before moving on to Cocoa Beach tomorrow!

We're off to eat dinner now!

Firefox 1.5.0.6

A new FireFox patch came out today, 1.5.0.6.

If you already use FireFox, you probably know this, or will know as soon as it finishes downloading behind the scenes. But if you don't use Firefox, I can not tell you enough how badly you need to try it. Hit up http://www.getfirefox.com and download it. Take a little time setting it up, getting it all comfy, download a theme or two and an extension or two, and if you don't like it, just uninstall it, and you can call me and tell me how much you hate me (I will curse at you in return).

If you're not into Firefox, there are other browsers out there you can use that actually know how to properly display a page and aren't security nightmares. My favorite alternative is Opera, which is a great browser, I just prefer my browsers to be open-source. Give it a shot.

I have a GameBoy Advance

Well, not really. I have an emulator. For mac. I'm continuously being impressed by the amount of software available for mac.

Here's a link to it: Boycott Advance

By the name, you'd think it was created by someone who hated Nintendo, but I can't find much back story on it. Or much documentation...

So far I've got about 30 games, and it looks like about half of them are going to work properly/be in english.

The gameboy games seem to fit into three categories:

• Pokemon


• Exploring with a sword


• Soccer

Some might argue there is a strategy genre too, but those people are the crap.

That's all I've got for you tonight. I'm all studied out. I have one final, it is tomorrow. I think I'm actually fairly prepared, but we'll see.