I get a lot of homework, and messages, and documents, and files from all kinds of people. It's easy to tell who uses what for their OS based just on file names, and I mean more than *.exe being a windows file:
Pretend you have a set of slides for chapter 13 of some class you're teaching...
Mac people will give their files good names, and generally use proper case. A mac file might be:
Chapter 13 - Algorithmic Classifications
A Windows person would name the same file:
chpt13.ppt or CHPT13algcls.ppt or something like that.
And then a Linux person would just name it:
_13chpt$T4ht2@.perl.bak_@@ or some crazy goofy crap like that, and the entire presentation would be given in emacs.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Google RE<C
I got all giddy when I read this article. Google is so cool, I could just... I don't know. Stab someone. Setting their resources to a project like this, Google will undoubtedly put a big chunk of the energy and pollution issue to rest.
This is all thanks to my work at Google, by the way.
This is all thanks to my work at Google, by the way.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Big Dave's Guide To Football
Football is the great American passtime, and with the winter weather upon us, there's never been a better time than now to start playing this wonderful sport. Football is challenging, good exercise, and a great way to compete with people. But how to get started? You're going to need some equipment first off, so head down to your local sports store:
Football Helmet - This is the first piece of equipment you need, and the most important. It is easy to be injured in football due to the nature of the game, and people smashing into each other. Not only that, but your helmet indicates which team you play for, so you need one that's got a good name and a stylish logo. The helmet will also come with a mouth guard tied to it with some kind of string, which is also important so that your teeth stay well aligned and safe. In the past, leather was the preferred material for football helmets, but now people generally buy real helmets. The choice is yours.
Neck Brace - The neck brace is the second most important piece of equipment a foot ball player can have, because it keeps the neck from getting all broken. Just make sure you buy the right size. It should be the same as your collar, or neck.
Pads - Football is a game of fast action and contact, so the more pads you have, the more action you can take. Just remember that this will be a trade off, because if you wear too many pads, you don't know what is going on around you because you are sheltered from the outside world. Some of the best pros play with no pads at all so that they can tell where they are being tackled and if the ball has hit them.
A Football - Not every player needs their own football, but if you all show up without one, then you can only play a game like touch football, or red rover, which are also pretty cool. So be the big man or woman, and show up with your own ball to ensure that the game can go on. Footballs are made out of pig skin, which is why they are sometimes called a pig skin. Also, they are filled with different material to determine how they throw. If you are a beginner, get one filled with yarn or threat. Advanced players usually have ones filled with clay or yams.
Now that you've got the right gear, here's how to play the game:
Football consists of two teams of 12 players each. The players start by vollying for serve. This is done by each team getting to their opposing side of the field, and one team throws the ball into the middle. The first team to get the ball wins the serve.
Now, both teams line up in the middle of the field, with the serving team having the ball. Most of the players will be called Line Backers, and they will line up facing another player from the other team. The two special players on each team are the Quarterback, who throws the ball the first time, and the runner.
Football is a game of strategy as well as strength. When the players are all lined up, with the quarterback behind the line of people, the quarterback must make a strategy. There are several coded commands he can give to tell what the game will be like. These terms are as follows:
Blue 22 - This means that the runner must run from one side of the field to the other. This tricks the other team if he is fast enough, because he will be somewhere unexpected, giving him the upper hand.
Hut - This is like 'pass', in that nobody does anything, but wait for the ball to get thrown.
Blue 17 - This is a throwing move, where the quarterback will throw the ball to an open player.
Set - This means that the player will set the ball on the ground, and charge forward to try and get an extra tackle.
Blue 42 - This is a dodge move, where the players will try to get past the other players and get to the other side
Down - This means everyone get crouched down low for the attack.
Hike - This is when the player throws a short throw to another player to catch the ball.
Omaha - This is an offensive move, where the players will try to push the other players to one side and get through.
These are most of the commands used, but not all. When it is time for the round to begin, this is called a 'play', and the quarterback will yell one or more of these commands. Some examples are as follows:
Hut, Hut, Hike - This is a basic strategy where the quarterback tries to fool the other team with two passes, then makes a quick throw to another player.
Blue 22, Blue 22 - This is a stealth strategy that can only be used if the runner is fast. This means to run across the field twice, to try and evade the other team so they have no idea where you are. Then, the time is right for a pass.
Down, Blue 42, Set - This means to get down on the attack, hit the players hard, and just ignore the ball. This is more of an advanced move which might leave the ball vulnerable, but can be worth it if you tackle all the other players.
Once you have a strategy set, yell it out, and everyone will do what you've said. There are 5 ways to score in football, and you need to keep them all in mind to get the most poinst:
The most common score is 7 points for a touchdown. This is when you run the ball all the way to the other side of the field.
When you make a touchdown, you also get a chance for another point, called the kick. This is where one player holds the ball, and another player kicks it, charlie-brown style. This gets you one more point if you make it.
The down is another way to score, where if the other team can't score for 4 tries, then you automatically score 3 points
The punt is another score, where you kick the ball to the other side of the field for three points. This is a good play, but not as good as a touchdown.
Finally, the tackle is where some of the players slip past the other players, and tackle the guy with the ball for one point. If this is done enough times, then the ball goes to the other team.
Football is divided into two sections, called halves, and each half is 45 minutes. After both halves, the team with the highest score wins! If there is a tie, then everyone keeps playing until someone gets more points.
There you have it, your introduction to Football, American style! Not everyone can be a MVP, but everyone can have fun, as long as you play smart, and safe. Enjoy!
Football Helmet - This is the first piece of equipment you need, and the most important. It is easy to be injured in football due to the nature of the game, and people smashing into each other. Not only that, but your helmet indicates which team you play for, so you need one that's got a good name and a stylish logo. The helmet will also come with a mouth guard tied to it with some kind of string, which is also important so that your teeth stay well aligned and safe. In the past, leather was the preferred material for football helmets, but now people generally buy real helmets. The choice is yours.
Neck Brace - The neck brace is the second most important piece of equipment a foot ball player can have, because it keeps the neck from getting all broken. Just make sure you buy the right size. It should be the same as your collar, or neck.
Pads - Football is a game of fast action and contact, so the more pads you have, the more action you can take. Just remember that this will be a trade off, because if you wear too many pads, you don't know what is going on around you because you are sheltered from the outside world. Some of the best pros play with no pads at all so that they can tell where they are being tackled and if the ball has hit them.
A Football - Not every player needs their own football, but if you all show up without one, then you can only play a game like touch football, or red rover, which are also pretty cool. So be the big man or woman, and show up with your own ball to ensure that the game can go on. Footballs are made out of pig skin, which is why they are sometimes called a pig skin. Also, they are filled with different material to determine how they throw. If you are a beginner, get one filled with yarn or threat. Advanced players usually have ones filled with clay or yams.
Now that you've got the right gear, here's how to play the game:
Football consists of two teams of 12 players each. The players start by vollying for serve. This is done by each team getting to their opposing side of the field, and one team throws the ball into the middle. The first team to get the ball wins the serve.
Now, both teams line up in the middle of the field, with the serving team having the ball. Most of the players will be called Line Backers, and they will line up facing another player from the other team. The two special players on each team are the Quarterback, who throws the ball the first time, and the runner.
Football is a game of strategy as well as strength. When the players are all lined up, with the quarterback behind the line of people, the quarterback must make a strategy. There are several coded commands he can give to tell what the game will be like. These terms are as follows:
Blue 22 - This means that the runner must run from one side of the field to the other. This tricks the other team if he is fast enough, because he will be somewhere unexpected, giving him the upper hand.
Hut - This is like 'pass', in that nobody does anything, but wait for the ball to get thrown.
Blue 17 - This is a throwing move, where the quarterback will throw the ball to an open player.
Set - This means that the player will set the ball on the ground, and charge forward to try and get an extra tackle.
Blue 42 - This is a dodge move, where the players will try to get past the other players and get to the other side
Down - This means everyone get crouched down low for the attack.
Hike - This is when the player throws a short throw to another player to catch the ball.
Omaha - This is an offensive move, where the players will try to push the other players to one side and get through.
These are most of the commands used, but not all. When it is time for the round to begin, this is called a 'play', and the quarterback will yell one or more of these commands. Some examples are as follows:
Hut, Hut, Hike - This is a basic strategy where the quarterback tries to fool the other team with two passes, then makes a quick throw to another player.
Blue 22, Blue 22 - This is a stealth strategy that can only be used if the runner is fast. This means to run across the field twice, to try and evade the other team so they have no idea where you are. Then, the time is right for a pass.
Down, Blue 42, Set - This means to get down on the attack, hit the players hard, and just ignore the ball. This is more of an advanced move which might leave the ball vulnerable, but can be worth it if you tackle all the other players.
Once you have a strategy set, yell it out, and everyone will do what you've said. There are 5 ways to score in football, and you need to keep them all in mind to get the most poinst:
The most common score is 7 points for a touchdown. This is when you run the ball all the way to the other side of the field.
When you make a touchdown, you also get a chance for another point, called the kick. This is where one player holds the ball, and another player kicks it, charlie-brown style. This gets you one more point if you make it.
The down is another way to score, where if the other team can't score for 4 tries, then you automatically score 3 points
The punt is another score, where you kick the ball to the other side of the field for three points. This is a good play, but not as good as a touchdown.
Finally, the tackle is where some of the players slip past the other players, and tackle the guy with the ball for one point. If this is done enough times, then the ball goes to the other team.
Football is divided into two sections, called halves, and each half is 45 minutes. After both halves, the team with the highest score wins! If there is a tie, then everyone keeps playing until someone gets more points.
There you have it, your introduction to Football, American style! Not everyone can be a MVP, but everyone can have fun, as long as you play smart, and safe. Enjoy!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Amazon Kindle - Uninspired
If you haven't seen the new Kindle from Amazon.com yet, check it out. Not because you're going to want one, but because it's so bad, it deserves attention for it.
Let me preface this by saying I'm a fan of Amazon, and I wish them the best of luck in their endeavors, but this is...bad.
The kindle is basically an e-book reader with wireless support for downloads, but you don't need me to tell you that, because you already looked at it like I told you to. The things wrong with this device...
Let me start with the look and style of the Kindle. It undeniably looks like other handhelds we've all seen...from the 80s. I can only guess that they thought the white color would be such a great idea based on apple's success with it. The target demographic has to be older folk, which might be scared off by black, steel, or 'color'. The buttons are clunky, and remind me of the original Nintendo controller, and the whole unit seems to have a junked up interface. If you really want to make it friendly to older people, use the extra half-inch on the top and middle of the keyboard to make those keys bigger. And turning them sideways? That might be acceptable if it was done to save space, but the even margins around the keys obviously indicate that wasn't the point. Finally, the angular look of the whole thing...it's just an eyesore! If I hadn't heard of the kindle, and I saw someone holding one, I'd be just as apt to guess it was some type of blood-sugar monitoring device as an e-book reader. I'd be embarrassed to be carrying one around.
I already ragged on the interface a little bit, mentioning the keyboard which apparently was completely neglected by any design team, but that's not where the fun ends. Particularly after the introduction of Apple's iPod Touch and iPhone, if I buy a pricy hand held device, it better have a touch screen. Heck, forget the iPhone; how long has palm been making devices with touch screens? 11 years. So how do we navigate on the Kindle? A chunky keyboard and a scroll wheel. Tell me that middle age to old people are good with scroll wheels, and I'll knock your god damn eye out with my mother's mouse, because you're wrong, and they are not. Heck, even blackberry is getting away from the scroll wheel in favor of a ball.
I have mixed feelings about the display. It's a non-backlit display which is only black and white. Not knowing the technical details of how it works, I can't insist that color be included, particularly since the main purpose is simple text, but I also can't say it wouldn't be nice. The display does work well in sunlight or indoors, however, which is a major plus, and text is resizeable, although I'd hardly tout that as a feature. That's like saying the steering wheel on your car is a feature. No, it's just supposed to be there. Finally, the unit may be fast or slow, the connection may be fast or slow, but the display is sure as hell slow. In Amazon's video, sometimes it takes the screen half a second to switch pages. So despite that cool scroll wheel, you're sure as shit not going to be scrolling, hence those nifty 'next page' buttons. Way around the problem...
Content delivery. Of course you can download books from Amazon, and read blogs and news (this is called The Internet, Amazon), but there's more! If you have word documents you want to keep on it, you can email it to your Kindle, and "For a small charge, Amazon will convert it so you can view it." I literally had to shit after reading that. I have to PAY, to have Amazon put my documents in some fucked up format so that I can keep them on my Kindle. I have a friend who works at Amazon, but I will literally walk through their office with my pants down, so that anyone who wants to can kiss my ass, because that's not going to happen, and anyone who is stupid enough to pay Amazon for this 'service' can get in line too.
They say that Kindle has the capacity to hold over 200 books, blogs, and such. I'm not sure what this actually amount to in memory, but I'm guessing 2GB, and you can expand that with an SD memory card. 2gig isn't exactly a lot these days, but since it's just text we're storing, I think it's sufficient, given the Sd card for expansion.
Ok ok, so you might be thinking I've been hard on the Kindle, and need to lighten up, after all, the average e-book reader might not have the strictest requirements. It downloads books, and you can read them, right? So how much is this going to cost us? $30, plus downloads? $100 plus downloads? $250? Here's why I've been rough:
Price: $400
Books: ~$10 each
Being able to read your own fucking documents: "A small charge"
Four Hundred fucking dollars for this piece of shit. Fuck. That's as much as a fucking iPhone. I realize the cost of the wireless support is built into the price, but holy shit. You can buy a laptop for $400, and you can bet your ass it supports all the crap the Kindle does.
So basically, if you're an old fucker who has too much money, and wants to be frustrated by a cheap plastic piece of shit with a fucked up interface, jump on board. I'll wait for about ANYTHING else.
Let me preface this by saying I'm a fan of Amazon, and I wish them the best of luck in their endeavors, but this is...bad.
The kindle is basically an e-book reader with wireless support for downloads, but you don't need me to tell you that, because you already looked at it like I told you to. The things wrong with this device...
Let me start with the look and style of the Kindle. It undeniably looks like other handhelds we've all seen...from the 80s. I can only guess that they thought the white color would be such a great idea based on apple's success with it. The target demographic has to be older folk, which might be scared off by black, steel, or 'color'. The buttons are clunky, and remind me of the original Nintendo controller, and the whole unit seems to have a junked up interface. If you really want to make it friendly to older people, use the extra half-inch on the top and middle of the keyboard to make those keys bigger. And turning them sideways? That might be acceptable if it was done to save space, but the even margins around the keys obviously indicate that wasn't the point. Finally, the angular look of the whole thing...it's just an eyesore! If I hadn't heard of the kindle, and I saw someone holding one, I'd be just as apt to guess it was some type of blood-sugar monitoring device as an e-book reader. I'd be embarrassed to be carrying one around.
I already ragged on the interface a little bit, mentioning the keyboard which apparently was completely neglected by any design team, but that's not where the fun ends. Particularly after the introduction of Apple's iPod Touch and iPhone, if I buy a pricy hand held device, it better have a touch screen. Heck, forget the iPhone; how long has palm been making devices with touch screens? 11 years. So how do we navigate on the Kindle? A chunky keyboard and a scroll wheel. Tell me that middle age to old people are good with scroll wheels, and I'll knock your god damn eye out with my mother's mouse, because you're wrong, and they are not. Heck, even blackberry is getting away from the scroll wheel in favor of a ball.
I have mixed feelings about the display. It's a non-backlit display which is only black and white. Not knowing the technical details of how it works, I can't insist that color be included, particularly since the main purpose is simple text, but I also can't say it wouldn't be nice. The display does work well in sunlight or indoors, however, which is a major plus, and text is resizeable, although I'd hardly tout that as a feature. That's like saying the steering wheel on your car is a feature. No, it's just supposed to be there. Finally, the unit may be fast or slow, the connection may be fast or slow, but the display is sure as hell slow. In Amazon's video, sometimes it takes the screen half a second to switch pages. So despite that cool scroll wheel, you're sure as shit not going to be scrolling, hence those nifty 'next page' buttons. Way around the problem...
Content delivery. Of course you can download books from Amazon, and read blogs and news (this is called The Internet, Amazon), but there's more! If you have word documents you want to keep on it, you can email it to your Kindle, and "For a small charge, Amazon will convert it so you can view it." I literally had to shit after reading that. I have to PAY, to have Amazon put my documents in some fucked up format so that I can keep them on my Kindle. I have a friend who works at Amazon, but I will literally walk through their office with my pants down, so that anyone who wants to can kiss my ass, because that's not going to happen, and anyone who is stupid enough to pay Amazon for this 'service' can get in line too.
They say that Kindle has the capacity to hold over 200 books, blogs, and such. I'm not sure what this actually amount to in memory, but I'm guessing 2GB, and you can expand that with an SD memory card. 2gig isn't exactly a lot these days, but since it's just text we're storing, I think it's sufficient, given the Sd card for expansion.
Ok ok, so you might be thinking I've been hard on the Kindle, and need to lighten up, after all, the average e-book reader might not have the strictest requirements. It downloads books, and you can read them, right? So how much is this going to cost us? $30, plus downloads? $100 plus downloads? $250? Here's why I've been rough:
Price: $400
Books: ~$10 each
Being able to read your own fucking documents: "A small charge"
Four Hundred fucking dollars for this piece of shit. Fuck. That's as much as a fucking iPhone. I realize the cost of the wireless support is built into the price, but holy shit. You can buy a laptop for $400, and you can bet your ass it supports all the crap the Kindle does.
So basically, if you're an old fucker who has too much money, and wants to be frustrated by a cheap plastic piece of shit with a fucked up interface, jump on board. I'll wait for about ANYTHING else.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Christian Radio Boycott
This marks the fourth consecutive week that I have contacted local Christian radio stations with information from my dreams, given to me by God, that the world was going to end on Tuesday. This also marks the fourth week in a row that my warnings have gone unheeded by said stations, who refuse to air the news of the second coming. Granted, my previous predictions of rapture proved to be not 100% accurate, but that doesn't make the messages given to me in my dreams any less real or important.
In light of this refusal and show of ignorance by Christian radio, I have been given no choice, but to institute a boycott of all Christian radio until the End of Days.
It will not be easy to remove this massive source of quality entertainment and education from my daily life, but I am a man of strong will and stamina, so I will prevail.
In light of this refusal and show of ignorance by Christian radio, I have been given no choice, but to institute a boycott of all Christian radio until the End of Days.
It will not be easy to remove this massive source of quality entertainment and education from my daily life, but I am a man of strong will and stamina, so I will prevail.
Saudi Arabia
If you haven't been watching the news lately, Saudi Arabia is a country of senseless animals. I know that seems like a broad generalization, but I watched a 3-hour documentary on camels, and they're about as dumb as dumb can be.
Also, this man's facial hair for sure smells like a homeless person's pubes:
I am not interested in traveling to Saudi Arabia to verify or see evidence to counter my claim.
Also, this man's facial hair for sure smells like a homeless person's pubes:
I am not interested in traveling to Saudi Arabia to verify or see evidence to counter my claim.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Sexiest Man Alive...
People Magazine announced a new Sexiest Man...and it's Matt Damon. I am insulted.
I am not the best looking guy in the world. Ohio, maybe. But to call Matt Damon the sexiest man...that's just wrong, particularly when you look at the last two: George Clooney, and Brad Pitt. Both awesome guys who make Matt Damon look like a little kid. I'm sorry if you're reading this, Matt, but it's the truth. I'm not saying you're an ugly dude, but come on, you know the truth.
One of my friends mentioned that it must be related to the whole Borne Identity thing, which is no excuse. For each Borne movie he puts out, there are 2 others where it's like...I dunno. I'm not impressed. And after the way he ran around like an idiot all through Team America: World Police makes it an even more blatantly incorrect choice.
I am not the best looking guy in the world. Ohio, maybe. But to call Matt Damon the sexiest man...that's just wrong, particularly when you look at the last two: George Clooney, and Brad Pitt. Both awesome guys who make Matt Damon look like a little kid. I'm sorry if you're reading this, Matt, but it's the truth. I'm not saying you're an ugly dude, but come on, you know the truth.
One of my friends mentioned that it must be related to the whole Borne Identity thing, which is no excuse. For each Borne movie he puts out, there are 2 others where it's like...I dunno. I'm not impressed. And after the way he ran around like an idiot all through Team America: World Police makes it an even more blatantly incorrect choice.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Making it Official
Okay, so I already said I was working for Sogeti, but I've still been interviewing, and I finally turned the paperwork in today, so it's official. I'm a consultant. Their biggest clients are IBM and P&G in the area, I'm told, so it's likely I could head down to one of them. Other possibilities are, of course, any of the financial companies in the area, including Fidelity, who I also interviewed with, and Kroger, which apparently is a crappy place to work.
Oh, speaking of...Sogeti has been in the running for Best Place To Work in Cincinnati for the last...several years, and I think they made the top 5 this year. Which is good, unless they go down hill in 08. We'll see.
Oh, speaking of...Sogeti has been in the running for Best Place To Work in Cincinnati for the last...several years, and I think they made the top 5 this year. Which is good, unless they go down hill in 08. We'll see.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Black and White in unclear about development and progress
Since the game first came out, I have put days and days into playing the game, and developing my creature, and the only thing he is good at is getting his ass beat.
I can only hope that Black and White 2 better developed the whole creature development model. That is all.
I can only hope that Black and White 2 better developed the whole creature development model. That is all.
Monday, November 12, 2007
I am Employed!
I accepted a job! I am going to be working for Sogeti. What is Sogeti, you might ask? What...you don't have Internet access? You can't click on the link? Gah...what do I pay you for?
Sogeti is a consulting company, and I will be a consultant. They do a lot of Microsoft type stuff, and my company laptop will likely run windows...which isn't great...but they also have a Java segment, and that is what I will be working with initially! So yay! Things are good.
Sogeti is a consulting company, and I will be a consultant. They do a lot of Microsoft type stuff, and my company laptop will likely run windows...which isn't great...but they also have a Java segment, and that is what I will be working with initially! So yay! Things are good.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Advice to the Ladies
There are a lot of things a young lady can do to make herself more attractive, you know? Like maybe wear some nice clothes, put on some eye liner, get some kind of fun hair thing going on, etc. But there are some thing that you just shouldn't do.
One of those things is getting that chin piercing type thing. Not the lip thing, but where they get a little stud or whatever right below the lip, in the middle. There's probably a name for it, but the net is strange enough that I don't feel compelled to search through various body piercing sites to get the proper term.
Anyway, first off, say you're out at Bravos having a nice dinner, and your date has this chin piercing thing. So you guys order some wine, and have salad to start out, and then some lobster penne or something nice like that, and then finish it up with some cheese cake, and the whole time, your date has her dinner leaking out of her chin cause she's elected to put a hole there. And there's like, green juicy shit from the salad, and like, some kind of stringy shit, and you don't even know where that came from, and maybe she wipes up her nasty ass chin sauce with her napkin, but then you can't use yours because you just think about it covered in mouth-sauce, and the whole thing goes down hill.
Secondly, the girl can't be too smart, because she could never have a job working with high powered electromagnetic devices, because they'd suck that thing right out of her chin. Unless she got some kind of plastic thing to stick in there, which is just not classy, and it's like...what was your initial idea, because I'm not seeing it.
Finally, the positioning, even if you weren't leakin' spit and salad all over and getting things torn out of your face because you're a scientist, is horrible. It's like, "I'm a chick, and as thus can not grow facial hair, so I will pierce my chin in a goatee-type-spot, so that everyone who looks at me will have to picture me with a tiny chin beard, at least for a second." That's really attractive. Not.
So anyway, to sum it up: ladies, it's ok to be extreme, but think about what you're doing anyway. Like, a tattoo can be nice, but if it's of three midgets fighting over a pie, and you have it on your cheek, then it's not so great. You go ahead and get things pierced, just try to avoid anything that's going to get all grody, and avoid making people think about you with a beard, mustache, or other undesirable facial features.
That's public service, brought to you by Big Dave.
One of those things is getting that chin piercing type thing. Not the lip thing, but where they get a little stud or whatever right below the lip, in the middle. There's probably a name for it, but the net is strange enough that I don't feel compelled to search through various body piercing sites to get the proper term.
Anyway, first off, say you're out at Bravos having a nice dinner, and your date has this chin piercing thing. So you guys order some wine, and have salad to start out, and then some lobster penne or something nice like that, and then finish it up with some cheese cake, and the whole time, your date has her dinner leaking out of her chin cause she's elected to put a hole there. And there's like, green juicy shit from the salad, and like, some kind of stringy shit, and you don't even know where that came from, and maybe she wipes up her nasty ass chin sauce with her napkin, but then you can't use yours because you just think about it covered in mouth-sauce, and the whole thing goes down hill.
Secondly, the girl can't be too smart, because she could never have a job working with high powered electromagnetic devices, because they'd suck that thing right out of her chin. Unless she got some kind of plastic thing to stick in there, which is just not classy, and it's like...what was your initial idea, because I'm not seeing it.
Finally, the positioning, even if you weren't leakin' spit and salad all over and getting things torn out of your face because you're a scientist, is horrible. It's like, "I'm a chick, and as thus can not grow facial hair, so I will pierce my chin in a goatee-type-spot, so that everyone who looks at me will have to picture me with a tiny chin beard, at least for a second." That's really attractive. Not.
So anyway, to sum it up: ladies, it's ok to be extreme, but think about what you're doing anyway. Like, a tattoo can be nice, but if it's of three midgets fighting over a pie, and you have it on your cheek, then it's not so great. You go ahead and get things pierced, just try to avoid anything that's going to get all grody, and avoid making people think about you with a beard, mustache, or other undesirable facial features.
That's public service, brought to you by Big Dave.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Idiocracy / Beauty Pagent Intelligence
If you haven't seen the movie 'Idiocracy', please do. It's pretty damn funny, but more importantly, it says something about the intellectual decline of our country.
Here's a neat little site featuring the 10 Dumbest Beauty Pagent Answers of all time. The site is a little iffy. I personally don't see how they could have narrowed it down to just 10. More likely, they just took the time to find 10 examples, so don't take this as an official ranking.
Here's a neat little site featuring the 10 Dumbest Beauty Pagent Answers of all time. The site is a little iffy. I personally don't see how they could have narrowed it down to just 10. More likely, they just took the time to find 10 examples, so don't take this as an official ranking.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Depot Memories - Tipping
This isn't racist because it's true. And if you disagree, you're a racist:
When I used to work at Office Depot, I always liked helping the foreign people pick out printers and computers and stuff, because they'd try to haggle the price (which you just can't do...), but when I carried stuff out to their cars for them, they'd try to give me money. That was a nice thing to do. Especially after I did not haggle with them.
I'm so damn busy that I don't have time to write. Stay tuned.
When I used to work at Office Depot, I always liked helping the foreign people pick out printers and computers and stuff, because they'd try to haggle the price (which you just can't do...), but when I carried stuff out to their cars for them, they'd try to give me money. That was a nice thing to do. Especially after I did not haggle with them.
I'm so damn busy that I don't have time to write. Stay tuned.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
NyQuil Sucks
Let the record show that it is currently 2:14AM, and not only am I still awake, but I can barely breathe through my nose. I quote from Wikipedia:
Yes, I did that, and no, it has had no sedating effect, and I haven't hypnotized shit since I took it.
Because all of the medications within the NyQuil imprint contain sedating antihistamines and/or hypnotics, they are typically taken at night, just before bedtime.
Yes, I did that, and no, it has had no sedating effect, and I haven't hypnotized shit since I took it.
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