Monday, November 26, 2007

Amazon Kindle - Uninspired

If you haven't seen the new Kindle from Amazon.com yet, check it out. Not because you're going to want one, but because it's so bad, it deserves attention for it.

Let me preface this by saying I'm a fan of Amazon, and I wish them the best of luck in their endeavors, but this is...bad.

The kindle is basically an e-book reader with wireless support for downloads, but you don't need me to tell you that, because you already looked at it like I told you to. The things wrong with this device...

Let me start with the look and style of the Kindle. It undeniably looks like other handhelds we've all seen...from the 80s. I can only guess that they thought the white color would be such a great idea based on apple's success with it. The target demographic has to be older folk, which might be scared off by black, steel, or 'color'. The buttons are clunky, and remind me of the original Nintendo controller, and the whole unit seems to have a junked up interface. If you really want to make it friendly to older people, use the extra half-inch on the top and middle of the keyboard to make those keys bigger. And turning them sideways? That might be acceptable if it was done to save space, but the even margins around the keys obviously indicate that wasn't the point. Finally, the angular look of the whole thing...it's just an eyesore! If I hadn't heard of the kindle, and I saw someone holding one, I'd be just as apt to guess it was some type of blood-sugar monitoring device as an e-book reader. I'd be embarrassed to be carrying one around.

I already ragged on the interface a little bit, mentioning the keyboard which apparently was completely neglected by any design team, but that's not where the fun ends. Particularly after the introduction of Apple's iPod Touch and iPhone, if I buy a pricy hand held device, it better have a touch screen. Heck, forget the iPhone; how long has palm been making devices with touch screens? 11 years. So how do we navigate on the Kindle? A chunky keyboard and a scroll wheel. Tell me that middle age to old people are good with scroll wheels, and I'll knock your god damn eye out with my mother's mouse, because you're wrong, and they are not. Heck, even blackberry is getting away from the scroll wheel in favor of a ball.

I have mixed feelings about the display. It's a non-backlit display which is only black and white. Not knowing the technical details of how it works, I can't insist that color be included, particularly since the main purpose is simple text, but I also can't say it wouldn't be nice. The display does work well in sunlight or indoors, however, which is a major plus, and text is resizeable, although I'd hardly tout that as a feature. That's like saying the steering wheel on your car is a feature. No, it's just supposed to be there. Finally, the unit may be fast or slow, the connection may be fast or slow, but the display is sure as hell slow. In Amazon's video, sometimes it takes the screen half a second to switch pages. So despite that cool scroll wheel, you're sure as shit not going to be scrolling, hence those nifty 'next page' buttons. Way around the problem...

Content delivery. Of course you can download books from Amazon, and read blogs and news (this is called The Internet, Amazon), but there's more! If you have word documents you want to keep on it, you can email it to your Kindle, and "For a small charge, Amazon will convert it so you can view it." I literally had to shit after reading that. I have to PAY, to have Amazon put my documents in some fucked up format so that I can keep them on my Kindle. I have a friend who works at Amazon, but I will literally walk through their office with my pants down, so that anyone who wants to can kiss my ass, because that's not going to happen, and anyone who is stupid enough to pay Amazon for this 'service' can get in line too.

They say that Kindle has the capacity to hold over 200 books, blogs, and such. I'm not sure what this actually amount to in memory, but I'm guessing 2GB, and you can expand that with an SD memory card. 2gig isn't exactly a lot these days, but since it's just text we're storing, I think it's sufficient, given the Sd card for expansion.

Ok ok, so you might be thinking I've been hard on the Kindle, and need to lighten up, after all, the average e-book reader might not have the strictest requirements. It downloads books, and you can read them, right? So how much is this going to cost us? $30, plus downloads? $100 plus downloads? $250? Here's why I've been rough:

Price: $400
Books: ~$10 each
Being able to read your own fucking documents: "A small charge"

Four Hundred fucking dollars for this piece of shit. Fuck. That's as much as a fucking iPhone. I realize the cost of the wireless support is built into the price, but holy shit. You can buy a laptop for $400, and you can bet your ass it supports all the crap the Kindle does.

So basically, if you're an old fucker who has too much money, and wants to be frustrated by a cheap plastic piece of shit with a fucked up interface, jump on board. I'll wait for about ANYTHING else.

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